Confrontation.... How do you deal with confrontation? I received a confrontational comment and it really intrigued me to post to everyone and ask what you think.
The comment that I received said, well I’ll just give you a quote from it "Someone told me recently that you said some very hurtful things to them in the past that just drove them farther away from God knowing that their pastor could have said those things out of anger."
The rest of the comment went along as a very vague statement about something that I had done. I have no clue who it was that I did this to and really I cant even think of what it is. I tell you this not because I'm mad at this comment, but because I want us to learn from this.
What do we do here in a situation like this? Did this comment help anything, or did it hurt something? What biblically needs to happen for God to bless this situation? Here is the complete post. Also please remember this is not to judge this person...or even me...its to help us understand what God wants us to do in these types of situations. What should you do if you are this person who posted this comment...what should I do?
I encourage you to read Matt 18:15-22.
I think one of the biggest problems people have with the church is all the back biting that goes on. In Matthew it is very clear if we have a problem with someone to go to him or her and talk it out. Most of the time this conflict will be resolved. If it isn’t, take someone else with you to talk it out…. and if that doesn’t work then you take the body of Christ. I rarely see the last step taken. But what that does in the process, is that the church then would know what has happened and then they would be in a place to confirm that person as unreasonable in their decision making while following Christ.
The last part of this scripture talks about how Peter asked Jesus how many times to forgive someone. Peter gives what he thinks to be his Godly answer of seven times. The Pharisees at that time would say around 3 times to forgive someone. Peter goes more than twice beyond that, probably hoping to impress God. We find out that he isn’t even close.
My last point is this…one of the biggest things that I hear as a youth pastor is that the church is so judgmental. I definitely agree with this in certain aspects such as the church judging the world. I struggle with this point though in the sense that many Christians are offended when a brother comes to them out of love and tells them something that they see them struggling with. When that person says stop judging me, I believe they are missing what the Word of God says. We as brothers and sisters in Christ are to keep each other accountable. We are to HELP each other in times of struggle. Jesus did get angry and Jesus did point out sin, but it was always in the perfect spirit of Love.
What do you think….?
4 comments:
I think sometimes we're looking for excuses on why not to be involved in church, why not to be a leader and honor God with our lives. So, when leaders say things that we may not want to hear, but that are biblically and are exactly what we need to hear, we cut ourselves off because of so and so. I think it's important however, to always examine your thoughts and motives in confronting someone. It should always be done in love and after careful consideration and contemplation of your 'sin life'.
I think that if most people would follow what the Bible says about how to react when they get hurt by someone it would spare them a lot more hurt. What if this person would have went directly to Jayson and said you hurt me by the things that you said...Jayson could have apologized or helped the person understand what he said or maybe even tell them he didn't say it at all. Instead this person got angry and told someone else which made that person angry and both of them are now farther from God. I for one am going to think twice before reacting the next time I am hurt by someone.
Thanks Jayson!
i think that confrontation is very important, and those who choose to avoid it are generally the ones that continue to be bitter. if something is done and the 'doer' doesn't know what they did, or that it hurt someone, i believe if it's honestly a naive issue then it's not their fault. however, one should tell if something said or done to them hurt them, so they can fix their mistakes and learn so as to move on. if you did something to someone, i honestly believe they should come to you, so that the two of you can work things out, rather than you being hurt or something by a comment made by someone in whom it doesn't concern. yes, we should go to our bretheren and tell them their wrongs, or else, how then can we learn?
I think you're right on, Jayson. You know this is something I've struggled with, and this is pretty much what you told me. Confrontation's not fun though. But that doesn't mean it's not necessary. But uh, yeah. I think you've got it right. -Rachel
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